you just have to said if you have a news to tell as they do as equally if they dont even inform a fascinating news ,then don't do it :] it's simply as equally :] or get your own idea what will you do the next step.
yeah, u re not only one! my parents or my brother do the same thing to me. at dinner table, they always talking to each other with their voices and left me out until i finish my plate. i asked my mother to tell me what they were talking about. she always said the topic of their conversation. so i asked her for details and i thought i might join their conversation. she does that to me everytime and i kept asking her for details cuz it s important for me to know what they re talking about. not only my family, my hearing friends do that to me too. i always keep tapping their shoulders and ask for it or i ll end up writing back and forth. sometimes writing back and forth didnt work out with big group of hearies with only deaf person. they would end up distracting and being part of other people s conversation and i still dont get it. it makes no difference. i just feel that they will never understand how we feel. they will when they go into deaf community. maybe you can keep tapping their shoulder or u can tell them how u feel in proper approach.
John ABC - that is GREAT advise & for all of us - thru hearing friends/families too.
There are families (hearing) that wants to know what the kids (deaf) and friends (Deaf) signing about, we shall tell them the SAME thing....minutes vs minutes!!!
It just never "hit" me until just now...DUH on me!
Same here .. as always. One time my sister was in my Deaf group. She asked me what was being said. I told her ... wait a second ...I kept chatting with my friends thru signings. My sister got the message. My family and co-workers always do the same thing. Nothing news. I am sorry you have been through too.
HEY, OH YEA IT HAPPEN TO ME LONG TIME AGO WHEN I USED TO WORK AS DATA ENTRY. MY CO WORKER HEARING WERE STARING AT US WHEN MY FREIND AND I WERE TALKING IN SIGN LANGUAGE AND THEY ASK ME WHAT IT WAS ALL ABOUT. I JUST SAY LITTLE THING. I NEVER SHARE MUCH INFORMATION TO THEM. BECAUSE IT IS NOT THIER BUSINESS. THEY DO NOT SHARE THIER NEWS TO ME. WHAT IS POINT FOR ME TO TELL EVERYTHING WHILE HEARIES DONT. IS IT FAIR FOR THEM TO KNOW A LOT OF YOUR NEWS WHILE YOU DONT? YOU ARE TOO SWEETIE TO TELL EVERYTHING. THINK IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DISCONTINUE AFTER 20 YEARS.. I WOULD GO CRAZY. HA SB
I've had this experience before. I've communicated kindly, but seriously that I WANT to be in the know. Every time someone tells me "nevermind, it's not important," I feel like they are saying I am not important enough or worth the time it will take to bring me up on the news. Once I communicated this to others, they got it and from then on, they made a decent effort to keep me involved. I think it just takes honest and friendly communication about what you want and how you feel. I don't think revenging them or "eye for an eye" kind of approach is really helpful.
I would take a different approach than what others suggested. In my opinion, it would be inappropriate to turn the table abruptly i.e. using the minutes vs minutes method or tell me your news first mainly because you have not done that in the past. You have shared your news with your co-workers. What I'd do is give a very brief summary i.e. oh we just were talking about a friend's granddaughter. Nothing important. Then leave at it. See what her response would be. See if she keep asking you more questions or accept it just like it is. Then you do the same the next time you see her having a conversation with other co workers. We need to give them a taste of their own medicine without appearing "bitter" or problematic. Just a thought...
Wow! Can't believe you just woke up...finally! Don't we all HATE that, putting up with this all our lives...sometimes people (hearing people, family, hearing friends or co workers) will say short, we ask for more or ask what they meant (they made it so short that we didn't understand so we had to ask them to rephrase), then they'll say, "never mind" or "not important". I hate these words: never mind. Brings back too many occasions/incidents where we've heard these words...grrrr! It sure hurts our feelings...like its not important for us to know, but it's okay that they do! Sighs...My advise for you is to just briefly say that you both were talking about news on friends...not important...as co-worker(s) don't know who they are anyway. Great idea what John from ABC shared, cool! I like his cool approach with people, like in restaurant with a waitress, that was hilarious! Have a great cool day! Keep on vlogging girl! :-)
Hi.. Yeah, I know what you meant.. I feel offended when they said never mind or it is not that important. Every time I try to educate hearing people and they would say, "I am so sorry. You are right. Please be bear with us. We are trying." They do it again and again. GRRR... I don't understand why they don't get it. Oh well! Smile.. Yes, you are pretty and tired.. I loved it how you used sign, "pretty" when you said you are pretty tired. So cutie...
Yeppers i know exactly how that feels... i live with my friend who is Hard of hearing and he more of oralist more then sign. so when he and his family are talking, i of course have no idea what they are talking about. so i would ask my friend to help me understand what being said, but the problem with that is the hearing family would say to me, "why don't u just try harder to listen instead of just asking around, and sometimes they have tv on, i would ask them to turn it off or mute so i could hear what ppl are saying, sometimes they will turn it off but then theres time they say "just tune out the tv noise" i am like whoa, i can't, we deafies who use hearing aid can't tune out background noise. arggghhh.... i also did a vlog on term "nevermind" i am sure u might have already seen it too... http://chillygurlz.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/you-would-have-to-be-deaf-to-understand-term-nevermind/
15 comments:
you just have to said if you have a news to tell as they do as equally
if they dont even inform a fascinating news ,then don't do it :]
it's simply as equally :]
or get your own idea what will you do the next step.
have an amazing day.
yeah, u re not only one! my parents or my brother do the same thing to me. at dinner table, they always talking to each other with their voices and left me out until i finish my plate. i asked my mother to tell me what they were talking about. she always said the topic of their conversation. so i asked her for details and i thought i might join their conversation. she does that to me everytime and i kept asking her for details cuz it s important for me to know what they re talking about. not only my family, my hearing friends do that to me too. i always keep tapping their shoulders and ask for it or i ll end up writing back and forth. sometimes writing back and forth didnt work out with big group of hearies with only deaf person. they would end up distracting and being part of other people s conversation and i still dont get it. it makes no difference. i just feel that they will never understand how we feel. they will when they go into deaf community. maybe you can keep tapping their shoulder or u can tell them how u feel in proper approach.
Response to ASL Music CLICK HERE
John ABC - that is GREAT advise & for all of us - thru hearing friends/families too.
There are families (hearing) that wants to know what the kids (deaf) and friends (Deaf) signing about, we shall tell them the SAME thing....minutes vs minutes!!!
It just never "hit" me until just now...DUH on me!
Same here .. as always. One time my sister was in my Deaf group. She asked me what was being said. I told her ... wait a second ...I kept chatting with my friends thru signings. My sister got the message. My family and co-workers always do the same thing. Nothing news. I am sorry you have been through too.
HEY,
OH YEA IT HAPPEN TO ME LONG TIME AGO WHEN I USED TO WORK AS DATA ENTRY. MY CO WORKER HEARING WERE STARING AT US WHEN MY FREIND AND I WERE TALKING IN SIGN LANGUAGE AND THEY ASK ME WHAT IT WAS ALL ABOUT. I JUST SAY LITTLE THING. I NEVER SHARE MUCH INFORMATION TO THEM. BECAUSE IT IS NOT THIER BUSINESS. THEY DO NOT SHARE THIER NEWS TO ME. WHAT IS POINT FOR ME TO TELL EVERYTHING WHILE HEARIES DONT. IS IT FAIR FOR THEM TO KNOW A LOT OF YOUR NEWS WHILE YOU DONT?
YOU ARE TOO SWEETIE TO TELL EVERYTHING. THINK IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO DISCONTINUE AFTER 20 YEARS.. I WOULD GO CRAZY. HA
SB
I've had this experience before. I've communicated kindly, but seriously that I WANT to be in the know. Every time someone tells me "nevermind, it's not important," I feel like they are saying I am not important enough or worth the time it will take to bring me up on the news. Once I communicated this to others, they got it and from then on, they made a decent effort to keep me involved. I think it just takes honest and friendly communication about what you want and how you feel. I don't think revenging them or "eye for an eye" kind of approach is really helpful.
~ LaRonda
I would take a different approach than what others suggested. In my opinion, it would be inappropriate to turn the table abruptly i.e. using the minutes vs minutes method or tell me your news first mainly because you have not done that in the past. You have shared your news with your co-workers. What I'd do is give a very brief summary i.e. oh we just were talking about a friend's granddaughter. Nothing important. Then leave at it. See what her response would be. See if she keep asking you more questions or accept it just like it is. Then you do the same the next time you see her having a conversation with other co workers. We need to give them a taste of their own medicine without appearing "bitter" or problematic. Just a thought...
Wow! Can't believe you just woke up...finally! Don't we all HATE that, putting up with this all our lives...sometimes people (hearing people, family, hearing friends or co workers) will say short, we ask for more or ask what they meant (they made it so short that we didn't understand so we had to ask them to rephrase), then they'll say, "never mind" or "not important". I hate these words: never mind. Brings back too many occasions/incidents where we've heard these words...grrrr! It sure hurts our feelings...like its not important for us to know, but it's okay that they do! Sighs...My advise for you is to just briefly say that you both were talking about news on friends...not important...as co-worker(s) don't know who they are anyway. Great idea what John from ABC shared, cool! I like his cool approach with people, like in restaurant with a waitress, that was hilarious! Have a great cool day! Keep on vlogging girl! :-)
Hi.. Yeah, I know what you meant.. I feel offended when they said never mind or it is not that important. Every time I try to educate hearing people and they would say, "I am so sorry. You are right. Please be bear with us. We are trying." They do it again and again. GRRR... I don't understand why they don't get it. Oh well! Smile..
Yes, you are pretty and tired.. I loved it how you used sign, "pretty" when you said you are pretty tired. So cutie...
Aidan
Been through with my co workers and my family.
Whenever they ask what I was talking to my friend about, I would just tell them just the way they told me "oh nothing. nothing important."
Hey, Betty!!
:)
Click Me!
Hands up! (chins up!)
:D
Hello my dearest friend!! This is my first comment for you, don't worry, it is good one! :-D
I totally understand what you meant!
Same me went thru with family and work. Same other many deaf friends i knew....
You could say to your co-workers "oh, we just catching up the news, nothing exciting to share". Or "Oh, it's nothing. Not a big deal."
See how they feel!!
Have a good weekend, babe!
My opinion... Tell them to "GO TAKE A SIGN CLASS"!!
Remember.... Hearies can LEARN to SIGN, Deafies can not LEARN to HEAR!!!
Yeppers i know exactly how that feels... i live with my friend who is Hard of hearing and he more of oralist more then sign. so when he and his family are talking, i of course have no idea what they are talking about. so i would ask my friend to help me understand what being said, but the problem with that is the hearing family would say to me, "why don't u just try harder to listen instead of just asking around, and sometimes they have tv on, i would ask them to turn it off or mute so i could hear what ppl are saying, sometimes they will turn it off but then theres time they say "just tune out the tv noise" i am like whoa, i can't, we deafies who use hearing aid can't tune out background noise. arggghhh.... i also did a vlog on term "nevermind" i am sure u might have already seen it too... http://chillygurlz.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/you-would-have-to-be-deaf-to-understand-term-nevermind/
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